I'm sure it's going to be good...right?

Okay, so I saw a trailer last night for the new Sex & The City movie. And it looked, um, kind of God-awful. How can that be? SATC was such a genius show; I'm holding out hope that the movie is going to be better than the teaser ad. (I'd link to it, but I couldn't find the exact version I saw on YouTube.)

In unrelated news, I wish I had never heard of this. For an emetophobe like myself, it's a nightmare come true. I mean, I know it's not like anyone is going to force me to go on it...or even watch it, for that matter. But the very idea that such a thing exists makes my stomach turn. Can't G4 just show Ninja Warrior all day, and be done with it?

And just to throw in one more random thing before I go -- have any of you guys read The Adultery Diet by Eva Cassidy? I'm about halfway through, and I'm loving it. It's absolutely hilarious, and so dead-on.

TV Round-up

I've actually cut back on my TV watching over the past year or so. This is going to seem pretty sad, when you realize that despite deleting tons of TiVo season passes, I'm still keeping up with a number of shows. Although, to be honest, I think I'm only regularly watching 6 things right now. (And I don't channel surf at all, so this is really the only time I've got the tube on.)

Anyway, here are a few thoughts on my 6 shows:

Big Brother: If you do the math, it doesn't look like there's any way A-Baller can win. Think about it -- the only guaranteed vote he has is Sheila. I also think Natalie will swing his way (thanks to Adam mouthing "I voted for you," after Julie announced the tie), but Nat's so kooky, it's hard to predict. I'm guessing Matt, Chelsia, and Josh will all vote for Ryan. Sharon probably will, too, even though their secret alliance kind of fell apart. That just leaves Crazy James, who could go either way -- and it won't matter at that point, because Ryan will already have 4 of the 7 votes needed to win. I see it going either 4-3, or 5-2 in Ryan's favor. There are two things that might hurt him: he already won money ($10k, plus Jen's $5K in the first HoH), and his relationship with Jen. Most of the jury hate her, and giving Ryan $500,000 is kind of like handing the money over to Jen. So that could really, really hurt him -- but I don't think so.

Lost: Wow! Probably the best episode of the season. So much introspection, so many lofty ideas and mind-boggling concepts and, yet, the episode was still action packed. I really can't say more because I just have no idea how to do it justice.

The Office: I heart this show so much. But what can I say that hasn't already been said? (And now, whenever I drive past a Wendy's I think of, "Wendy. Saucy redhead." Pause. "Sir, this is a Wendy's restaurant.")

Survivor: You can find out my thoughts about this via the lengthy comment I left on Alan Sepinwall's awesome blog.

Top Chef: Not liking this season at all and, to be honest, I'm only half watching. Still, I didn't agree with their decision to get rid of Jen. True, Jen and Stephanie's dish might not have been as delicious as Antonia and Lisa's -- but at least they followed the rules, and cooked what they were actually supposed to cook. If they had thrown the challenge aside and said, "Screw it! Let's cook what we want to cook instead!" then they surely would have come up with a better dish. Also, Jen and Stephanie's assignment was much, much harder. Antonia and Lisa had to make "drunken polish sausage," which, as the judges pointed out, could have easly been accomplished by fixing polish sausage and beer. Jen and Steph had to prepare "(sexually) turned on asparagus." What the hell are you supposed to do with that?

Work Out: Totally love this show, even though Jackie seems pretty ruthless this season. Side note: I always go back and forth and think, If I went to Sky Sports which trainer would I want? And after this week's episode, I've got to say Jesse. I loved when he went to his client's house and talked with her, heart-to-heart, about the reasons she can't get her weight (and her life) in order. Other side note: Renessa = So Freaking Annoying. Last side note, I promise: Why didn't they tell us Deenie's weight? They made a huge point of mentioning that she is the heaviest client they've ever had at Sky Sports -- then they didn't tell us what she weighed. (And I'm pretty sure we heard everyone else's weights.) What gives?

Honorable mention: How I Met Your Mother. I actually think this show is super cute, but I rarely get so see it thanks to some weird glitch with my cable. (I can't record anything on Mondays unless I reset the cable box around 5 p.m. And I never think to do this. So I always end up taping a black screen.)

Shows I have quit watching, and I'm not sure why: Grey's Antomy, American Idol, The Bachelor, America's Next Top Model. Again, I'm not sure why.

Show I watch every once in a blue moon: House.

Show I would watch if I had HBO: Curb Your Enthusiasm. (Instead, I just have DVD marathons of this with my sister.)

.

Whoa

I just tried to upload a long post, and Blogger deleted it. (My fault for not saving it elsewhere first.)

I've got to run out for a bit, but I'll be back later with more.

A quick note: Is anybody else watching Work Out on Bravo? I'm so addicted to that show. Speaking of TV, could The Office be any better? I freaking love it.

Another random thing: I just ran my ex-boyfriend's picture on that facial recognition site (the one listed below) and it said he was a 98% match for Ashlee Simpson. I'm so e-mailing him the link.

I was bored

So I did one of those face recognition software things that are always floating around online.

I don't look anything like any of these people. I don't really look anything like the picture I used, either, which is part of the problem. So why not choose a more accurate photo? Oh, if only.... I seriously tried, like, 18 different pics and this was the only one it was able to find a match for.

I'm just happy it didn't tell me I looked like any guys. When I did one of these a few years ago it said I was a dead ringer for Harrison Ford.

Now I realize this blog has been all photos, all the time lately. I'm not sure why.... I'll try to actually, ya know, write something in my next post.

Visions of Johanna

I wish this song would suddenly become popular. Like, maybe some new band could cover it and it would catch on. I'm totally at a loss for which band it should be. Suggestions?

Then everybody would know how to pronounce my name. I usually get Joanna. Or if they think to put in the "h" they say Johawna.

(In case you were wondering, I wasn't named after "Visions of Johanna," although my dad is a huge Bob Dylan fan.)

I like it, even if you don't

Okay, so I put that picture to your right up on MySpace.

As a joke.

I thought it was funny, because it seriously does not look a damn thing like me.

And the reaction I got was pretty wild. All the girls seemed to love it. The guys hated it. A couple of people e-mailed and said, "You look like you weigh 120 pounds!" (Um, no. Not even.)

A guy I used to work with, who I haven't seen in a few years, actually called my old job (long distance!) so he could ask a former co-worker if I was okay. He thought I was having a breakdown or something.

Someone said I looked like a drag queen.

A few other people asked if I was coked out.

I still think it's funny.

I can't think of a post title

It's been a crazy week. It's been a REALLY crazy month. (March, and the first few days of April.)

I haven't been answering the phone or even responding to e-mails all the much. So if you've tried to get in touch and haven't heard from me, I'm sorry! I'm back, now, though. I was under a really insane deadline and just couldn't get away.

I did venture out today to pick up a bunch of Final Four Memphis gear. And that's all I'll say about the Tigers, because I could easily wind up going on about them for 2 hours.

Um, what else? Jennifer Weiner's new book, Certain Girls, comes out next week. I can't wait! And Emily Giffin's Love the One You're With will be out next month.

Also, if you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend The Art of French Kissing by Kristin Harmel. Kristin Harmel is one of my absolute favorite people. She's so nice, funny, friendly -- and a great writer! I loved her latest book so much, I even blurbed it.

That's all for now.

Things you realize

...after you get published.

1.) Half the people who tell you they loved your book have probably never read it.

2.) Many of the people who actually read your book and tell you they loved it are lying.

3.) Some of those people are lying because they're just trying to be nice. Others are lying because they're hoping you'll help them get their own book published.

4.) Every once in a while, a random stranger will walk up to you at an event and say, "I have absolutely no intention of reading your book, ever." Or "I tried to read your book but it was a big old pile of crap." And THEN they will say, "Even though you kind of suck, I'd like you to help me get published." (I'm exaggerating, of course. But not by much.)

I don't even know what inspired this list. I hope it doesn't sound bitter or jaded; I am actually trying to be cheeky and funny. But, like I said in the post before, I'm on no sleep....

Oof

I just sent out three e-mails. Two went to friends, and one went to my dad.

In all of them, I wrote their instead of there. Such as: Their are a couple of things I want to talk to you about, I'll call you later.

I really do know the difference between their/there. Swear to God.

This is why I probably shouldn't write e-mails when I'm super tired. (I probably shouldn't write blog posts, either. I'm going to come back tomorrow and find fifty typos in this.) What can I say. I've been up since 5:45 and I didn't go to bed until almost 2. Which means I slept a grand total of 3 hours last night. I don't know why I'm still awake. The worst part is, I have to be back up at 5:45 again. Jeez.

I've had an interesting day. I'll elaborate more later. For now, I don't want to jinx myself.

A picture post

I have a small addiction to coloring my hair.

This wouldn't be a problem if I, you know, actually got a professional to do it. But no. I dye it myself -- constantly. It's not that I'm a cheapskate. Well, maybe that's part of it. But there's just something so alluring about being able to change your own appearance at a moment's notice. Whenever I get bored or depressed, I run over to Ulta and pick up a box of hair dye and a highlighting kit. Then I set to work. Sometimes, I get my best friend to do it. She's an artist, and she has awesome hair-coloring skills. But lately she's been refusing to dye it for me. ("You can't color your hair this often, Johanna, it's going to all fall out!")

So at the moment I'm basically on my own. I'm trying to limit myself to only coloring it once a month (tops) but, as you can see, that doesn't always work out so well.

Let's start at the beginning. This is my natural hair color. (This is also a really old picture. I think I'm 21 here. Apparently I was quasi-surly at 21.)

Skip ahead to 2007, when the hair dye addiction kicked in. First I went really dark, with subtle red highlights. (This is from October.)



Then I lost a few pounds, and decided I needed to go light brown, with some gold highlights. (December 2007.)

Then I took it REALLY reddish-blonde. (January 2008.)

Now I've gone brown again. (This doesn't really show my hair, but oh well. I took it to document my weight loss progress. Same shirt as above, but I actually had to pin it in the back since it was too big. Yay!)


I think I'm going to wait a little bit -- after all, I need to let my hair rest -- and then take it back blonde. Sadly, this photo essay doesn't even do the whole thing justice. There have actually been a few other colors in between.

Amazingly, I am not bald yet.